The Fear of Sharing

Sharing can be scary.

The boy waddled over to his friend on the playground, a half-eaten animal cracker in his hand.  He smiled awkwardly at the other child who had his hands full of sand from the sandbox. 

“Um, hi.”

The sand monster looked up from his castle, eyeing the half cracker and licking his lips. 

The first boy turned back to make sure his mother was nearby and then reached out a slobbery hand, “Wanna a cracker?”

The waiting was intense.  He had never felt his breath catch so easily before, and the growing thud in his chest was a new sensation. 

The sand monster dropped his sand, “Sure.”  He tentatively took the soggy cracker and popped it into his mouth.

“Wanna help me build a castle?”

From our very first attempt at sharing to our thousandth attempt, fear comes with the territory.  There is the fear of rejection (obviously), the fear of not getting it right, the fear of too little too late (holding back only to regret it later), just to mention a few.  These thoughts are all legitimate.  Each of those could happen.  We could be rejected, we could try to produce a result and just plain fail at our intent, and we could give 10% towards a task instead of 100% and then regret our “one foot in, one foot out,” mentality later.

Let’s be honest; all of us will try and fail; all of us will face rejection, and all of us will scold ourselves for not giving our all.  But we will also learn from ourselves.  We will learn that if we let fear control our thoughts and actions, we aren’t really living.  We will learn that the feeling of fear will dissipate with practice and time.  We will learn that we bind ourselves more than anyone else does, and it’s up to us to decide what to do next.

I’ve decided to believe in my voice through writing.  I’ve decided to share parts of myself that I’ve not shared before.

Now it’s your turn.  Please let me know what fear has been holding you back and your plan on turning that fear around.  Let me know what you’re choosing to share.

9 thoughts on “The Fear of Sharing

  1. schmelzb April 15, 2015 / 8:00 pm

    I know we share a fear of writing and letting others see into our personal thoughts. Let’s encourage others to write on blogs (such as Narcy in the Forum of Becoming Writer) and enter story contests then we can all see that we have much in common. Loved your example, which seems as if you have the beginning of a story, Helena.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. helenatoto April 19, 2015 / 11:21 am

    I’m right there with you; I am learning now much courage it can take to share your own thoughts with people you may not know. I also think that’s why it can mean so much, though.

    Like

  3. Theresa Bruno April 21, 2015 / 10:59 am

    what a beautiful story. You have always had such a knack for writing. I am so proud of you. I wish you all the success in the world.

    Like

    • helenatoto April 28, 2015 / 9:33 pm

      Thank you so much for your loving words. They mean more to me than you know.

      Like

  4. Theresa Bruno April 21, 2015 / 11:25 am

    comment #2 – I realize I should have written something about fear. I have had a beautiful life so far and never thought about my age. But now that I have reached the age of 81 I think about not being here anymore and fear that day. I try not to think about it, but sometimes it is hard not to. I can’t imagine not seeing, hearing, touching, hugging, kissing my family anymore, That is my greatest fear.

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  5. helenatoto April 28, 2015 / 9:38 pm

    You answer with such honesty and bravery. I can only imagine having such a wonderful legacy to look back on. I don’t know what I can say to assuage your fear, but I can promise you are not alone. We all face varying degrees of fear, but the more we talk and share about them, I find the more we are able to live meaningful lives.

    Like

    • Theresa Bruno April 29, 2015 / 6:13 pm

      You are so right. Too many people don’t share their feelings. I guess they are afraid they will hurt someone’s feelings or can’t express it. I try to be honest with all of you. I love my family so much. I hope they will share with me the same way I try to share with all of you. Love you kiddo

      Like

      • helenatoto May 17, 2015 / 1:52 pm

        You know this by now, but you are certainly one of my role models. Your insightful comments just highlight the fact even more so that you have so much to teach from all the things you have been through.

        Like

  6. Theresa Bruno May 22, 2015 / 12:42 pm

    Sharing is fearful, as is loving, wanting, expressing yourself is the most fearful, because you are afraid that your expression might hurt someone, but if someone asks you a direct question, you have to tell them what you really feel. They might be afraid in asking you, but you might also be afraid that your answer might hurt them. True friends and family should be able to express their feelings and their fears. This is a very hard task and sometimes so hard to get the words out. Again hoping you don’t hurt someone in your reply. I guess I am rambling, but I hope you know what I am talking about. Love you!!!!!!

    Like

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