Tag: Poetry

Mom

by Helena Toto, posted in abuse, Consequence

Lily sits alone, fighting shadows

under the shade of the pine tree.

 

She wore a tweed skirt today, looking sexy,

but her mom called her a slut and

pushed her down the staircase.

 

What a dangerous game she’s playing;

if she’s not careful, her own daughter

 

will end up dead, with a note that reads,

I wasn’t worth it

 

Mother’s Day came and went

No one called her

Not one of her daughters

 

What can she expect?

She hates.

 

So, call her wicked, call her selfish,

call her the problem,

And keep it going.

 

Lily sits alone

All these years later,

 

her husband beckons from the

doorway, but he’s not there

 

She doesn’t see him.

She’s still fighting shadows

under the shade of the pine tree.

Hidden Truth

by Helena Toto, posted in betrayal, fake, Fear, Medicine, mental illness, pain, Poetry

 

 

Where they sent me

To recover

Destroyed parts of me

Unseen

The soft parts

Of my underbelly

Soiled

And broken,

I’m

Like a doll

Who cocks her head

And smiles on cue

Open my mouth

And take a pill

To swallow the crazy

That no one else

Wants to see

Photo Credit: .v1ctor Casale. Flickr via Compfight cc

Burying You

by Helena Toto, posted in ache, Fear, letting go, poem, Poetry, trapped, Uncategorized

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And yet

I stand here,

Trapped

 

Surrounded on all

Four Sides

With reminders of you

 

Staring me down

Telling me it’s

Time to let go

 

Photo Credit: Ellieboat via Compfight cc

Enough

by Helena Toto, posted in alone, Anecdote, longing, Poetry, rain, sadness

I stand here in the rain
watching you run so you
don’t get your hair wet.

Such a difference
between us.

All the time-
making it seem like
there is no reason for
what I do.

But I love it.
All the droplets falling down.

It makes me believe I will wash away-
if I just stand here long enough.

Monster

by Helena Toto, posted in abuse, caring, child, Consequence, Love, Poetry

I will weep

When you get

What you deserve.

 

I will cry out with pain

When they hit you

And spit on you

And call you names

 

Showing their hate

Of you,

Making you feel stupid

 

I will lose sleep

Waiting for you to

Come home, bruised

And beaten

 

So I can hold you

In my arms and

Rock you to sleep

 

I will know why.

What you’ve done

Is unforgivable

 

But you are my son

I can’t help but love

What I’ve created.

 

Medicine

by Helena Toto, posted in disease, Loneliness, Medicine, Poetry

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The dizziness overwhelms

And she finds it hard to take a step

 

Not ready to let go of the banister to

Stand on her own two feet

 

The nausea comes next

In waves

 

Sort of like pregnancy

But there’s nothing to look forward to here

 

Like the smell of a newborn

Cuddled in her arms

 

Just the loneliness surrounding

And the palpable metallic taste

 

That comes and goes in her mouth

Reminding her she’s made of flesh and blood

 

Reminding her what she puts in must

Find release, somehow

 

The healing will come, with time,

But withdrawal is a different beast altogether

 

Photo Credit: e-MagineArt.com via Compfight cc

The Ones We Leave Behind

by Helena Toto, posted in death, friendship, Goodbye, Poetry, Uncategorized

Just whispers in the night
After they’ve helped us
Bury the body.

Dirty hands so raw,
Cracked and bleeding
Heavy breathing,

Once it’s complete
Collapse in the snow
And stare up at the
Howling moon.

I left you there,
Your image fading into the night
As I walked away

Because
What’s there left to say,
At that point?

Photo Credit: Rusty Russ via Compfight cc

Goodbye

by Helena Toto, posted in death, dreams, Goodbye, hope, life, longing, Love, Paradise, peace, Poetry, sadness

We stayed on shore
As you floated past us
In your restful bed

The end wasn’t as you expected
You didn’t suffer
And we didn’t cry

But I smiled
To know that things
Would be different now

The leaves changed from pink to
Gold when the lights danced over
Them on the dark water

And my breath caught
In my throat
As your blood swirled with the tide

Salt mixing with life
Preserving it, holding it tight
Until I see you again

Photo Credit: http://digitalblasphemy.com/

This Game

by Helena Toto, posted in abuse, family, marriage, Poetry, relationship, trauma

You and I face each other
weapons in hand
fate tied at the wrist

And as the blood pumps and rushes
what’s left to think about?

I’m faster than you and the
blade cuts into flesh

Spilling your heart out onto the floor.

Photo Credit: atduskgreg via Compfight cc