Where they sent me
To recover
Destroyed parts of me
Unseen
The soft parts
Of my underbelly
Soiled
And broken,
I’m
Like a doll
Who cocks her head
And smiles on cue
Open my mouth
And take a pill
To swallow the crazy
That no one else
Wants to see
Photo Credit: .v1ctor Casale. Flickr via Compfight cc
I stand here in the rain
watching you run so you
don’t get your hair wet.
Such a difference
between us.
All the time-
making it seem like
there is no reason for
what I do.
But I love it.
All the droplets falling down.
It makes me believe I will wash away-
if I just stand here long enough.
I will weep
When you get
What you deserve.
I will cry out with pain
When they hit you
And spit on you
And call you names
Showing their hate
Of you,
Making you feel stupid
I will lose sleep
Waiting for you to
Come home, bruised
And beaten
So I can hold you
In my arms and
Rock you to sleep
I will know why.
What you’ve done
Is unforgivable
But you are my son
I can’t help but love
What I’ve created.
The dizziness overwhelms
And she finds it hard to take a step
Not ready to let go of the banister to
Stand on her own two feet
The nausea comes next
In waves
Sort of like pregnancy
But there’s nothing to look forward to here
Like the smell of a newborn
Cuddled in her arms
Just the loneliness surrounding
And the palpable metallic taste
That comes and goes in her mouth
Reminding her she’s made of flesh and blood
Reminding her what she puts in must
Find release, somehow
The healing will come, with time,
But withdrawal is a different beast altogether
Photo Credit: e-MagineArt.com via Compfight cc
Just whispers in the night
After they’ve helped us
Bury the body.
Dirty hands so raw,
Cracked and bleeding
Heavy breathing,
Once it’s complete
Collapse in the snow
And stare up at the
Howling moon.
I left you there,
Your image fading into the night
As I walked away
Because
What’s there left to say,
At that point?
Photo Credit: Rusty Russ via Compfight cc
We stayed on shore
As you floated past us
In your restful bed
The end wasn’t as you expected
You didn’t suffer
And we didn’t cry
But I smiled
To know that things
Would be different now
The leaves changed from pink to
Gold when the lights danced over
Them on the dark water
And my breath caught
In my throat
As your blood swirled with the tide
Salt mixing with life
Preserving it, holding it tight
Until I see you again
Photo Credit: http://digitalblasphemy.com/
You and I face each other
weapons in hand
fate tied at the wrist
And as the blood pumps and rushes
what’s left to think about?
I’m faster than you and the
blade cuts into flesh
Spilling your heart out onto the floor.
Photo Credit: atduskgreg via Compfight cc
Hiding in my dreams &
Behind my eyes
Always watching
…waiting
For life to flow
All around so
You can soak up
Every single moment
Photo Credit: Krisztina Tordai via Compfight cc
What works for me?
What pushes me to be better?
Who gets to see that part of me?
Apart from all the bull shit.
Apart from the burden I feel
Every time I wake up
The choices I’ve made
Have led me here
Have led me away from you
But in another time &
Another place
I would be with you,
Holding your hand
Smiling
Instead of sitting here
Alone, Stagnant
Trapped by what I’ve chosen
What wouldn’t I give up now
To go back and decide again
To make that defining choice, differently
To walk into the sunset with you
Instead of turning back
And choosing familiar
Over the new possible.
