Tag: betrayal

I asked for it

by Helena Toto, posted in ache, alone, betrayal, Consequence, Fear, hurt, Self, trauma

Would you hurt me

If I asked you to

 

Would you strip away my dignity

And undress me with your eyes

 

Let me tremble beneath

Your hungry gaze

 

Even as I covered over

My naked body with my hands

 

And sank to the cold

Bathroom floor

 

Until the tears came

And I sobbed

 

Victimized

But I asked for it, right?

 

So, you’re off the hook.

Photo Credit: mitchell haindfield Flickr via Compfight cc

The Ones We Leave Behind

by Helena Toto, posted in death, friendship, Goodbye, Poetry, Uncategorized

Just whispers in the night
After they’ve helped us
Bury the body.

Dirty hands so raw,
Cracked and bleeding
Heavy breathing,

Once it’s complete
Collapse in the snow
And stare up at the
Howling moon.

I left you there,
Your image fading into the night
As I walked away

Because
What’s there left to say,
At that point?

Photo Credit: Rusty Russ via Compfight cc

Silent

by Helena Toto, posted in etiquette, hurt, job, pain, poem, Poetry, protocol, silence, silent, words

Your hand reaches out
Taking hold of my throat
Closing, closing
Choking the goodness from my lungs

Seeping, sweeping onto the floor
Crumpling down
Down I go
Losing consciousness

For a moment,
Taking me by surprise
Your words hit me
This time

Like they haven’t before
Revealing the stain of pain behind my eyes

But this is my job
To listen
To not hurt, to not react

So I deaden my eyes
Forcing a smile

Not giving myself away

Photo Credit: Jeremy Wilburn via Compfight cc

Run

by Helena Toto, posted in abuse, alone, betrayal, darkness, death, Fear, friend, monster, pain, poem, Poetry

She came to my door
Broken and shamed
Last night to explain
The unexplainable
How she rose above
The light until
She reached the
Darkness of
Your might.
It could
Be easy to
Pretend
But you
Know
That’s
Not
What
She’ll
Do.

photo credit: digitalblasphemy.com

Burned

by Helena Toto, posted in aging, betrayal, dreams, Loneliness, Love, pain, Poetry

Underneath your wings
I used to lie
Breathing softly
Hidden from the world

Upon sanded beaches
Once I craved
The wind as it
Rushed onward

Up from valleys below
Caught between the realities
Sung of
In ancient lullabies

Before feeling brought
Pain and loving
Produced everything
But hate

Now I long for the
Protection and sanctification
Once given to a little child born
In the haunted memories of long ago

Ignored, though never
discarded
Living vividly
Behind an old man’s eyes

Photo Credit: instragram.com/amirkuckovic via Compfight cc

Wife

by Helena Toto, posted in marriage, Poetry, standards

I press the button, but nothing happens.
She doesn’t cock her head or say hello.
Her dead eyes don’t blink and her hand doesn’t wave.
I want my money back.

Photo Credit: *TatianaB* via Compfight cc